Fri 25 Jun 2010
Been listening to special instructions and watching interstellar phenomena within the soul. Training under the patient and wise gaze of Lucerna, Mother Mary’s Personal Assistant. She keeps nudging me further into the cold waters of trans-personal warrior training. It’s a side of me I’ve only just now started experiencing and accessing with an inner eye. There’s a large shadow cast by the cloud over parts of me I never recognized, but the weather has changed and colors are clearer and sharper than I ever would have believed.
Floating around my pillow are a number of texts I’m reading, grab and seek the new game of play. Reasoning and meditation as making mud-pies in the brain. Themes emerge along the dream like an ultraviolet glowing cellphone from the beyond giving me the ring-tone of my self in a new looking back. Seeds are always sprouting just when you thought the land had given up on you. I picked up the phone even though I was busy and flipped open the communicator to the starship everywhere. I’m busy so I’m available.
Dreamtime might be overrun with plastic shamans, but they’re an outer characteristic of the inner journey. We all have to do time with our imagination until it can grow to fill the form we can’t see with our little light. I’d forgotten about a sizable chunk of my New Age explorations not too long after willingly suffering The Nightmare Maize Of Singular Violation to finally understand what I was missing. Some things you leave behind in the guiding of the divine back to the outside world. I do appreciate the Dark Goddess returning my backpack!
I read about the Sioux keeping and releasing of souls, and reflect. Their ways and understandings are a sound in my being rich with clues, stimulating thoughts of what a dedicated clown might accomplish despite being dazed and befuddled. The recognition of death as an opportunity for those alive to recognize their sacredness and experience purification beyond our experience. That to move beyond bodies—created out of the nothingness of unfathomably unlikely chance in time and space—into a larger comprehension of being as a form of non-being is natural and joyous, even though there are tears and pain.
Our dullard senses stumbling with such vast experiences of awareness, perhaps some compassion is in order for our falling down and skinning our tender mental knees and scraping of heartstrings with a rough clasping. Our helplessness and inadequacy are stunning to those outside time and space, and evoke mercy from the most mysterious of depths; do we not ourselves rush to the side of a stranger as if they were ourselves at unusual moments? As above, so below, as within, so without. A mote of fire in the gloaming of our chemical stew of a brain.
I’ve been grieving and mourning, welcoming inside and treasuring, coming to the place where there is the happiness of dawning and dusking inevitable. In a sense, this long period of overwhelmed underwhelming has been a new idea breaking out of its shell and evoking my response. Some ecstasies are vast and immeasurable, like the numbing flash of a dunk in cold water. I can see Molly on a beach with an empty and dripping bucket, laughing. Yoshie covers her mouth and makes a giggly face.
Now for pizza…and margarita shooters!